"Okay class, let's begin our new book of the week", were the words Mrs. Seymore, my kindergarten teacher would always say. This began my love for reading. I would run as fast as a jaguar home every day after school to read my favorite books, the Captain Underpants books and the Fudge Series between third and fifth grade. Using my sparkled blue pencils every day, I would write all of my writing assignments assigned to me extremely fast because I also had a passion for writing. This goes back to my mom remembering sitting down with me at our tan dining room table everyday practicing how fast I could write my letters.
Getting those golden stars from the work that I put a lot of effort into in class made writing become my favorite subject for quite some time too.
These experiences all brightened up my life when it came to literacy, up until I turned into a 12 year old preteen with braces. Aim suddenly popped my life , and it turned my world upside down.
We all remember that rough time of being in school as a twelve year old, that dreadful year before heading into middle school for the next two years. Listening to people talk all day and no one speaking to me ever made me feel so
LONELY...
My smile would never show in class EVER. In my favorite outfit of Bobby Jack t-shirt and capris, I tried walking up to my classmates to talk to them about school or my favorite books. It never worked, and I felt like I was locked away from my classmates because we would never speak.
LONELY...
My smile would never show in class EVER. In my favorite outfit of Bobby Jack t-shirt and capris, I tried walking up to my classmates to talk to them about school or my favorite books. It never worked, and I felt like I was locked away from my classmates because we would never speak.
Around the month when the leaves started to turn green during that year again, I finally had an idea of a way to find a connection with some of my classmates. One day during that month, I heard two girls in my class who would always wear Abercrombie and UGGs named Purvi and Amber talking about something called aim. I then heard Purvi say to Amber, “I loved the online conversation that we had yesterday, can’t wait to chat later!” |
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Aim ..
Aim..
Aim..
I went up to Purvi and Amber and said:
“Hey you guys should add me on Aim so we can talk after school.”
At first they both gave me a strange look like I was crazy for asking this! Then, the scribbling of usernames was shown on my white notebook paper. They also asked me for mine. My face lite up like a little kid in a candy store because they actually wanted to talk to me, even if it was just online, for now.
Then, I remembered that I did not have an aim yet , so I did not have an actual username to give them. I quickly scribbled down “rooty6767” because rooty was a nickname and had when I was little.I knew I should not have lied to the girls and told them I already had an aim. I just wanted to talk to them so badly online.
At first they both gave me a strange look like I was crazy for asking this! Then, the scribbling of usernames was shown on my white notebook paper. They also asked me for mine. My face lite up like a little kid in a candy store because they actually wanted to talk to me, even if it was just online, for now.
Then, I remembered that I did not have an aim yet , so I did not have an actual username to give them. I quickly scribbled down “rooty6767” because rooty was a nickname and had when I was little.I knew I should not have lied to the girls and told them I already had an aim. I just wanted to talk to them so badly online.
After school that day, I ran home as fast as I could to make an Aim before the girls realized that I had lied to them . I quickly said “hi” to my mom and darted down to our basement to log onto Aim from our giant , white pc computer that my family shared. Speaking with my mom in interview , she was also fine with me getting an aim at this point because she “thought it would help me enhance my social life at school from this online communication".
Clicking the “create a username” botton, I prayed that the username that I had given them was available. Luckily, the "Username okay icon" popped on the screen and I patiently waited for Purvi and Amber to message me.
Clicking the “create a username” botton, I prayed that the username that I had given them was available. Luckily, the "Username okay icon" popped on the screen and I patiently waited for Purvi and Amber to message me.
“Bing..” went a chat bubble noise an hour later. I received a “hey :)” message from both of them, and I was thrilled that they had actually messaged me. After talking about boy drama and sixth grade gossip for two hours, I knew that I was going to love aim for the rest of the year.
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Or
Was
I....
Was
I....
Flash Forwarding a few weeks later, the only thing that I did after school now was staring blankly at my computer screen, typing until my eyes were bloodshot. Talking to people on aim was the only thing that brought my happiness at this time in my life.
Reading about Johnny and Pony Boy in The Ousiders was now only staying closed, and my love for books had greatly been affected thanks to Aim.
Reading about Johnny and Pony Boy in The Ousiders was now only staying closed, and my love for books had greatly been affected thanks to Aim.
Typing a mile a minute on aim was amazing at the beginning of using it. Many girls in my class were chatting me first, and there would be some great conversations. They even talked to me a little during class now, and I would feel so confident walking into my classroom everyday. It had finally felt like the barrier had been broken between my classmates and I. "Can't wait to chat with you later Vicky," were the words that I loved to hear from different girls in my class, and I was so glad that I had some "friends" now.
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Even though I thought this in the moment, this sadly had not been the case. After a few weeks, the girls' messages stopped coming first. Typing away the word “hey” to the girls online first now constantly happened. Conversations became smaller and smaller. I could never figure out exactly why they did this, maybe they were just trying to be nice to me at first? Anxiety ran through my veins at school because I felt so alone. It felt like a wall was between my classmates and I once again.
Taking my eyes off of the computer screen for sometime was very healthy after this situation happened. For some reason, I decided to run back down to my basement and go on aim from our p.c after this. Sometimes, I just stared at my aim messenger screen for hours upon hours in hope that one of them hit the send button to message me first again. As much as I wished every night that this would happen again, it unfortunately never occurred. My mom expressed that she tried to tell me, “Vicky please stop staring at the computer hoping for messages, this is not healthy! Please, go back to reading.” I knew that she had been right, but I just felt so hopeless and could not get myself off of the site. Aim had truly destroyed my life for quite some time during sixth grade.
Even though AIM had been fantastic to go on, but it had not been worth getting addicted to for quite a few months. As stated by Rhinegold, "The future of digital culture -yours, mine and ours-depends on how well we use the media that have infiltrated, amplified, distracted, enriched, and complicated our lives." (p.1)Digital literacy is very significant as long as one is doing it in a healthy way, mindful way. I am glad that I have gravited away from my unhealthy obsession with AIM and talk to friends and use my eyes to mostly read books again.